Worst Wedding Dresses of All Time...

So as we are all well aware, I am getting married in what is now, less than a month. This has made me extremely nervous, and to rid myself of some of the stress I have been collecting, I have thought to make light of marriage, specifically THE DRESSES.

Everyone woman prides herself on her dress. The beauty, the uniqueness, the individuality. Well, the dresses found below, someone needs to slap the wearer along with her maid of honor. All I can say is WTF?!?!

There are many things wrong here, and it's not just the dress. I know it's heard for plus sized women to find a nice dress, but this looks like she just wrapped herself in a bed sheet and called it a dress. This thing is HORRIBLE. And her groom... well... at least she loves him!

THIS IS A DESIGNER DRESS. Can you believe it? Someone needs to find the designer and beat some sense into him. If I was that model, I think I would have purposely fallen and broken my neck before hitting the stage. I would not have been seen in that thing, ever, not even for a million dollars. Well... maybe.... hmmmm....

Well, somehow I think in California we're going to be seeing more and more of this with the recent lift of the ban on gay marriage. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. There is something humorous about a large man in a dress, but the body hair kinda creeps me out. I think the vote is still out on this one!

So she's pregnant, and proud, BUT GOD DAMN!!! I don't want to be staring at your big pregnant belly while I am trying to eat at the reception. I don't feel like being blinded by stretch marks thank you!

Little bit of a sports nut are we? Or was this the husbands idea? Makes ya wonder....

EWWWWWWWWWWWW.............. 'nuff said!

She looks like a giant dildo, a suppository, a tampon, or a condom. Any other ideas? No matter, very phallic....

So this dress looks really cool, from a distance, then you realize it is MADE OF CONDOMS. Imagine this, you are dancing under the bright lights at your wedding, when something begins to drip off of you and your dress. You mother walks up... "Dear, you're sweating horribly..." And then she realizes, it's not sweat.... IT'S LUBE!!! Ewwww....

This dress is made of BALLOONS. Yeah again, pretty cool! But wait until the best man gets drunk and decides to start popping your dress. Not so cool anymore huh?

Another condom dress..... EWWWWWW......

I'm not even sure what this is made of. That funny packing tape maybe? I'm not sure. But it's horrible. Why god, why?

I think this is made of yarn. A cat's delight? What the hell is wrong with people?

All of these dresses are just horrible. I pray my dress doesn't end up someone's list like this. Save me...