Friday, July 11, 2008

Two wheels bad, four wheels good...

So, for the past week I have been riding my motorcycle to work. I know what you're thinking, riding a motorcycle to work in sunny California seems like every one's dream, right? Wrong! As beautiful as the scenery may be, the driver's aren't quite as appealing. Idiocy behind the wheel reigns supreme!

Having spent many months on the back of David's bike, I had witnessed the complete and utter disrespect, and inconsideration motorists had for motorcyclists. David's bike is over twice the size of mine, and people seemed to never see it. It made me nervous to get on my bike, and apparently rightfully so.

In the past week I have had drivers attempt to share lanes with me, stop for no damn good reason, cut me off, drive 20+ MPH under the speed limit and block any attempt by me to pass, stop as close to the lane divider as they could so I couldn't split lanes, and just generally be jerks. Apparently a chick on a bike is something to be threatened by, even if it is a little 250.

However, I have seen some good. I pulled over once to fix my helmet and pull out my sun glasses, and another motorcyclist stopped to make sure I was OK. I have gotten plenty of smiles, waves, and compliments from other motorcyclists. I have had some motorists wave me on past them, around them, and to go ahead of them.

Thus far I've only had one bizarre moment.... a guy meowed at me. Yes, he meowed at me. I was sitting at a stop light and I thought I heard a cat meowing. Thinking it might be from the car next to me, I looked over, and the driver was staring at me... meowing. I just looked away, and eagerly took off when the light turned green.

I have also had this cool little old school VW bug whom I see nearly everyday on my way home who likes to race me down Oakland Rd. A lot of fun, pretty cool, but I whomp on him every time.

I do have some regrets right now. Everyday when I take my breaks at work, I no longer have my car to nap in or smoke in. This heat wave in the bay area has been causing my bike to overheat, which really sucks. This heat wave has also made it impossible for me to wear my jacket, which makes me really nervous. Not wearing my jacket this morning really sucked, I froze on the way to work. Oh well, it woke me up.

So how do I feel about this new world of motorcyclists and motorists I have entered. I'm not quite sure. I enjoy riding my bike, but I want to kill motorists. I think California should make a motorcycle lane. Yep, that would be a GREAT idea. But, never gonna happen. Oh well....

I live to ride another day!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Worst Wedding Dresses of All Time...

So as we are all well aware, I am getting married in what is now, less than a month. This has made me extremely nervous, and to rid myself of some of the stress I have been collecting, I have thought to make light of marriage, specifically THE DRESSES.

Everyone woman prides herself on her dress. The beauty, the uniqueness, the individuality. Well, the dresses found below, someone needs to slap the wearer along with her maid of honor. All I can say is WTF?!?!

There are many things wrong here, and it's not just the dress. I know it's heard for plus sized women to find a nice dress, but this looks like she just wrapped herself in a bed sheet and called it a dress. This thing is HORRIBLE. And her groom... well... at least she loves him!

THIS IS A DESIGNER DRESS. Can you believe it? Someone needs to find the designer and beat some sense into him. If I was that model, I think I would have purposely fallen and broken my neck before hitting the stage. I would not have been seen in that thing, ever, not even for a million dollars. Well... maybe.... hmmmm....

Well, somehow I think in California we're going to be seeing more and more of this with the recent lift of the ban on gay marriage. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. There is something humorous about a large man in a dress, but the body hair kinda creeps me out. I think the vote is still out on this one!

So she's pregnant, and proud, BUT GOD DAMN!!! I don't want to be staring at your big pregnant belly while I am trying to eat at the reception. I don't feel like being blinded by stretch marks thank you!

Little bit of a sports nut are we? Or was this the husbands idea? Makes ya wonder....

EWWWWWWWWWWWW.............. 'nuff said!

She looks like a giant dildo, a suppository, a tampon, or a condom. Any other ideas? No matter, very phallic....

So this dress looks really cool, from a distance, then you realize it is MADE OF CONDOMS. Imagine this, you are dancing under the bright lights at your wedding, when something begins to drip off of you and your dress. You mother walks up... "Dear, you're sweating horribly..." And then she realizes, it's not sweat.... IT'S LUBE!!! Ewwww....

This dress is made of BALLOONS. Yeah again, pretty cool! But wait until the best man gets drunk and decides to start popping your dress. Not so cool anymore huh?

Another condom dress..... EWWWWWW......

I'm not even sure what this is made of. That funny packing tape maybe? I'm not sure. But it's horrible. Why god, why?

I think this is made of yarn. A cat's delight? What the hell is wrong with people?

All of these dresses are just horrible. I pray my dress doesn't end up someone's list like this. Save me...

Monday, July 7, 2008

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words

Phobia (FO-bee-ah): a persistent irrational fear of an object, situation, or activity that the person feels compelled to avoid.

People are an odd sort of creature, being afraid of some of the most benign things. I will admit, I have two VERY WEIRD phobias, that I realize are pointless, and very much benign, yet still, I have them. I am very much afraid of butterflies and hummingbirds. Don't ask, both are a very long story and I don't feel like going into it right now!

Anyway, I found a list of some odd phobias, and here they go, some of my favorites.

Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Barophobia- Fear of gravity
Chromatophobia- Fear of colors
Cibophobia- Fear of food
Clinophobia- Fear of going to bed
Deciophobia- Fear of making decisions (I think David suffers from this, lol)
Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body
Eleutherophobia- Fear of freedom
Geliophobia- Fear of laughter
Geniophobia- Fear of chins
Genuphobia- Fear of knees
Geumaphobia- Fear of taste
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words
Leukophobia- Fear of the color white
Levophobia- Fear of objects to the left side of the body
Melanophobia- Fear of the color black
Melophobia- Fear of music
Metrophobia- Fear of poetry
Mnemophobia- Fear of memories
Mottephobia- Fear of moths (Very much close to my fear of butterflies!)
Ommetaphobia- Fear of eyes
Oneirophobia- Fear of dreams
Ophthalmophobia- Fear of opening one’s eyes
Panophobia- Fear of everythingXanthophobia- Fear of the color yellow

I continued on my hunt for more odd phobias, and found a site that claims all of their phobias are science recognized ones, cool!!! So here are some that are supposedly science recognized:

Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.
(wow! It is real!!!)
Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.
Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street.
Ailurophobia- Fear of cats.
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Androphobia or Arrhenphobia- Fear of men. (must be only lesbians >.< )
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Aulophobia- Fear of flutes. (wow, this is real too, COOL!!!)
Botanophobia- Fear of plants.
Bromidrosiphobia or Bromidrophobia- Fear of body smells.
Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness. (BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!)
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women. (OMG, THIS TOPS FEAR OF UGLINESS!!!)
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money.
Coitophobia- Fear of coitus. (OMG! OMG! Too good… too good!)
Coprastasophobia- Fear of constipation.
Coprophobia- Fear of feces. (I’m dying here, constipation, then feces… WOW!)
Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.
Cypridophobia or Cypriphobia or Cyprianophobia or Cyprinophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease. (I think most normal people have this!)
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch. (“I’m Dutch, isn’t that verid,” thanks Austin Powers movie)
Ecclesiophobia- Fear of church. (Church scares me, not so much the place, as the people, does that still count?)
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Erotophobia- Fear of sexual love or sexual questions.
Eurotophobia- Fear of female genitalia.
Gallophobia or Galiophobia- Fear France or French culture. (Francophobia)
Genophobia- Fear of sex. (I think all teenagers should have this so we have less teen pregnancy!)
Germanophobia- Fear of Germany or German culture.
Geumaphobia or Geumophobia- Fear of taste.
Gymnophobia- Fear of nudity. (So, does that mean, they would also have the fear of sex?)
Gynephobia or Gynophobia- Fear of women. (only gay men must suffer from this!)

Wow, it just goes on and on and on! Check it out, it’s got some great stuff!

What are you afraid of?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Ass, Gas, or Grass... Nobody Rides for free

So while surfing the web, I came across an awesome story on The Smoking Gun coming from my home state of Kentucky.

Apparently a man and woman were busted after a stake out at a Days Inn, arrested for prostitution. The man admited to paying for the woman's services, and paying for those servies in part with a $100 GAS CARD!! No, I'm not kidding, this really happened. The man was arrested for promoting prostitution, while the woman was arrested for propstitution, and not having an occupational liscense.

So, can you believe that? I can, sad times we're hitting with the ever rising gas prices. What's next, paying for hookers with grocery store gift cards? Grocery prices are shooting through the roof, why the hell not?

So, that got me going, what other fun things could I find on The Smoking Gun that had occured in Kentucky. Well, apparently some real good ones.

This couple was arrested after taking pictures of their 2 year old son SMOKING POT. The couple was arrested after the person running their local photo developing place came across the photo. Apparently, they came across the offending photos and immediately called the cops. The pictures show the man holding the pipe to the childs mouth and another man lighting it up. The couple's one year son was also taken into care by the State.

To add insult to injury, while in jail, their home was robbed. Teach them both a very important lesson.

they both look completely stoned out of their minds in this photo. It's no surprise that two skeezy stoners like that would decide to get their child high. It's ok to smoke pot, it's not ok to force it upon a child. There will be a day when your child is ready to smoke pot, but you should wait about 14 more years!

I am a little disappointed there is not more info on this. I would really like to know what city it happened in, it said central Kentucky. My family lives in central Kentucky. I bet someone knows them!!!

Check out my next post for some fun mugshots!!

Monday, June 30, 2008

I'm A Dirty Rotten Theif

So I have taken to shuffling about other people's blogs, and I came across this. I thought it was a pretty cool idea, and perhaps I would take it on myself, so here it is....

The Mosaic Picture Meme
Originally from Bud who changed the rules slightly, but stolen from Kathy.
The Concept:
This Meme is all about the Mosaic Collage that you are about to build by answering the questions in this meme by using pictures! First what we changed: The meme we stole required the use of programs that you needed to register to use. So it was tied to you downloading two programs (and learning them…) Here we do the same meme, the exact same way, but leave you to your own resources. We also simplified the rules to allow a bit more creative (and speed!). So here we go:

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Google Image Search or same type of search engine for pictures.
2. Using only the first page of results, pick one image. You can’t search forever for a certain image.
3. Copy and paste each in any program that you can post the pictures in a mosaic pattern. You can post them 3 X 4 or 4 X 3. We used Microsoft Paint below.

The questions:

1. What is your first name?… Linda
2. What is your favorite food?… Pizza (extra cheese, and deep dish, yummy)
3. What high school did you go to?… Leigh High School (I pray to never return to there again)
4. What is your favorite color? … Maroon
5. Who is your celebrity crush?… Trent Reznor (drool, I love him, for being a 40 year old man, I would do naughty naughty things to him!)
6. What is your favorite drink?… Cherry Coke
7. What is your dream vacation?… Sailing and fishing my way across the world
8. What is your favorite dessert?… Hot Fudge Sundae
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?… Veterinarian
10. What do you love most in life?… David, he's my love, my joy, my happiness. I would be nothing without him!
11. What is one word that describes you?… Odd
12. What is your blog name?… A Dazed Juggalette's Ramblings

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Wicked Clown In Me

Being a juggalette, a part fo me has this weird obsession with clowns, evil clowns. So while scoping out one of my favorite photoshop websites,, I stumbled upon not one, BUT TWO sections where people had turned celebrities into evil clowns. How awesome is that?

There are tons of these pictures, but these are the ones I found really cool. Check them out!

A very young, and very evil Christina Ricci. I think she would be stellar, even as an adult, in a seriously EVIL role.

I'm not very fond of Marilyn Manson, but I found this image pretty neat, and hauntingly true to his nature.

Liv Tyler, seriously hot to begin with, then as a clown. *drool* She would make an awesome juggalette. She looks uber hot all painted up.

Jessica Alba loks frightening in this picture, but so cool. Hard to even recognize it as her.

The one, the only, Christopher Walken. I love it, absolutely LOVE IT.

Bruce Willis, even more humpable as this. Yummy! (Sorry David!)

Monday, June 23, 2008

EDD: Empathy Deficit Disorder

Everything is a disease, everything is a disorder, no one is normal, nothing is normal anymore.

While looking over CNN today I came across an article about EDD (Empathy Deficit Disorder). Here is a small clip from this article that made me think, perhaps something is wrong with me and everyone I know:

Instead, on good days, she'd say, "Why are you crying? Nothing is wrong." And on bad days: "You'd better toughen up because life can get a lot worse." Looking back at my 20-something self, I realize that if, as LaBier says, empathy is "the ability or the willingness to experience the world from someone else's point of view," I wasn't brought up to be able to do that.

At least my lack of empathy was not unusual. Having practiced as a psychotherapist for 35 years, LaBier believes that what he calls empathy deficit disorder (EDD) is rampant among Americans.

LaBier says we unlearn whatever empathy skills we've picked up while coming of age in a culture that focuses on acquisition and status more than cooperation and values "moving on" over thoughtful reflection. LaBier is convinced that EDD is at the heart of modernity's most common problems, macro (war) and micro (divorce).

I think 90% of the world's population most likely suffers from EDD. No one gives a flying fuck about much of anyone else anymore. Why should we? Life is nothing but a rat race. Who can I step on to get to the top of the ladder? Who do I have to push off to stay there?

I know I'm not a very empathetic person, but does that mean there is a problem with this? I don't think so. I personally look at it as a means of self preservation. I only allow in the things and people I feel are important, and everything else gets shut out, and locked down. I keep things, and people, at an arms length, just to be safe. I see this as something very much necessary in our day and age. If we allowed everyone in, and allowed everyone close, it would leave nothing for ourselves.

Look at our president and chief, George W, he's a fine example of the typical, non-empathetic American. Perhaps he suffers from EDD. Hey, Georgie 'ol buddy, 'ol pal, if you read this, YOU HAVE EDD (possibly ED too, but that's a whole other debate!).

But then again, most men don't show hardly any empathy. ATTENTION ALL MEN, YOU ALL SUFFER FROM EDD, GO SEEK HELP.

I think I am going to go home and tell David he suffers from EDD.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Chuck Norris, The Legend

So David has had me on this Chuck Norris trip. He's always making Chuck Norris jokes. I am a little tired of hearing them, but at the same time, I do find them rather humorous. So, here's to Chuck Norris, hope you enjoy! Oh yeah, check out Chuck Norris Facts for more fun and games!

  1. When the boogeyman goes to bed everynight, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  3. Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.
  4. Chuck Norris counted to infinty... twice!
  5. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
  6. Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
  7. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  8. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
  9. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
  10. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  11. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around YOU.
  12. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
  13. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  14. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
  15. Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
  16. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
  17. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
  18. In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
  19. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
  20. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
  21. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
  22. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
  23. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  24. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
  25. There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
  26. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
  27. Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
  28. Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
  29. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
  30. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
  31. Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
  32. Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
  33. When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
  34. Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
  35. Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
  36. Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down.
  37. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
  38. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
  39. When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
  40. Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it.
  41. Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
  42. Chuck Norris can taste lies.
  43. Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
  44. Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
  45. July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? i think not.
  46. The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.
  47. As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
  48. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
  49. Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
  50. Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

And... I'm spent.... I think I never want to hear another Chuck Norris joke again.

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.


--dies, from a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face--

Engrish... Chinglish... Whatever you want to call it.... (part 1)

Engrish, where do I begin. Well first off, I assume everyone knows what Engrish is. Oh, you don't, well let me explain. Engrish is the strange and often humorous misuse of the english language. It often ends in things being explained, or described in a manner that is very inappropriate for the object, or just down right STRANGE.
If you like these, check out for some others!

Beat the child? Beat the basin? Beat the meat? Hmmm... what are we not to beat?

I know a good feeling of place that most men's hearts are feeling for, *wink wink* and it cures a certain thirst of theirs too!

Ok, so what are the chances I will be the one to find this hand and LEG that are pinched in the elevator. If less than 50%, I am gonna rush, because I gotta be the one to find it. Do I get a prize by the way?

This one just makes me brain itch! Wanna scratch it!

I'll smork if I want to! Or was that smurf if I want to.....

Just goes to show, all men believe their penis to be a thing of beauty!

Wow, they make elevators that fit in your hand now? Those crafty Asians!

I think I might just take offense to that one. Or, I want to spend all of my money there, not sure!

Til Death Do Us Part

So, have I mentioned recently, how utterly terrified I am about getting married. Yes, me, I am a nervous wreck. Wow... It is less than 2 months before I tie the knot and I still have so many things to do. So many things I haven't even touched, I just don't know where to begin. Plus, Jamie is leaving in 2 weeks. I'm gonna miss my best friend.

So I haven't really posted in a while because life has been moving at super sonic speed lately (plus my laptop took a shit on me at home). David and I went back home to visit family. That went well, then we came home and Ramal is moving out. We're both flat broke right now, and struggling to make it through the next week.

I found some food in the freezer last night that I know I didn't buy, but I think I am going to cook it to prove a point (since Ramal has cleaned our freezer out!!!).

Anyway, this post is here just to make a statement that I am still alive, struggling through my wedding plans, and just trying to make ends meet. I will be back soon with more useless crap. I promise.

Monday, June 2, 2008

True Story Horror Review, part 1

I was sitting down today, checking out some stuff online about good horror movies. Tons of sites claiming to have lists of the best horror movies ever. Well, I don't give a flying fuck about if it is the "best" or the "scariest." Which movies are honestly based on real life events, that's what I wanna know. So here is some information I dug up on some movies that claim to be "based on real events."

The Exorcist- By far one of the most famous horror movies of our times. Everyone has seen it, or at least has seen or heard references to it. It was marketed as "based on real life events" and that isn't exactly the truth. The novel is based upon a story heard about an exorcism of a young BOY in 1949. This exorcism supposedly took place in Mt. Rainier, Maryland and Bel-Nor, Missouri. It took a little more than 6 weeks to exorcise the demon from young Robbie.

So, is it based on real life. Yes, and no. It depends on if you believe in exorcisms in the first place. It is based upon something the writer had heard about and supposedly researched. Oh well, this one gets a silver sticker from me. It's hard to say if it really is, because so many facts were changed to help hide the real victims identity. Oh well, still a classic horror film in it's own right!

Amityville Horror- We've all known someone who knew someone who knew someone who's ACTUALLY been there, and it really is haunted, right? So, this movie was based upon a certain amount of what I will call "known truth." In other words, it is on record with the police, crime units, newspapers, and more of really happening.

So, here is the known truth. A murder really did take place there, a murder of the Defeo's. Ronald Defeo murdered his mother, father, two brothers, and two sisters. Here is the truth of the story (read the entire Wiki entry on it here)

At around 6:30 on the evening of November 13, 1974, Ronald DeFeo, Jr. burst into Henry's Bar in Amityville, Long Island, New York and declared: “You got to help me! I think my mother and father are shot.” DeFeo and a small group of people went to 112 Ocean Avenue, which was located not far from the bar, and found that DeFeo's parents were indeed dead. One of the group, Joe Yeswit, made an emergency call to the Suffolk County Police, who searched the house and found that six members of the same family were dead in their beds.

The victims were Ronald DeFeo, Sr., 43, Louise DeFeo, 42, and four of their children: Dawn, 18; Allison, 13; Marc, 12; and John Matthew, 9. All of the victims had been shot with a .35 caliber lever action Marlin rifle at around three o'clock in the morning of that day. DeFeo's parents had both been shot twice, while the children had all been killed with single shots. The DeFeo family had occupied 112 Ocean Avenue since purchasing it in 1965.

Ronald DeFeo, Jr. was the eldest son of the family, and was also known as "Butch". He was taken to the local police station for his own protection after suggesting to police officers at the scene of the crime that the killings had been carried out by a mob hit man named Louis Falini. However, an interview with DeFeo at the station soon exposed serious inconsistencies in his version of events, and the following day he confessed to carrying out the killings himself. He told detectives: "Once I started, I just couldn’t stop. It went so fast."

So, a real murder did indeed happen there, although there is arguments as to if it happened as most seem to believe. After that, the Lutz family moved in, and only managed to stay 28 days. The family had been full on aware since day one of what occurred in the house, and had not a single issue with it. Strange things started happening, according to Mr. Lutz, from the move in day (the dog attempting to hang itself over the fence, a priest while blessing the house stating uncomfortable feelings in a certain room, and other "small things").

Mysterious and repulsive odors pervaded the home. A strange green jello like substance leaked from the walls. The toilet bowls began to turn black. Swarms of houseflies were found time and time again in the sewing room. Strange drops of black goo oozed from the keyholes in the doors. Small indicators that something was wrong inside the house at 112 Ocean Avenue.
Personality changes also began to affect the Lutz family. George would suddenly awake precisely at 3:15 am each morning... with an uncontrollable urge to check the boathouse. He would go for days without bathing. George was often sick, losing a lot of weight, and energy. Kathy began having nightmares. The children often fought and argued with one another.

The Lutz's had never intended on abandoning their home. But the events unfolding night after night were becoming unbearable. The plan was simply to spend some time away from the house... and sort things out. Figure out what was going on. So arrangements were made to spend time at Kathy's mothers house.

The family managed to grab a few changes of clothing, while the temperature inside the home fluctuated from chilling cold, to hot. Strange banging noises were heard, and the interior walls of the house seemed to shift about, making groaning noises. And... as they were leaving the home, George encountered another apparition on the second floor landing. This time.. a hooded figure that stood motionless, pointing directly at George Lutz.


You can read through his entire interview, and take it to mean what you like. Some argue the Lutz family just did it to gain attention and earn some money. Which, it does appear they did indeed do. It has been reported that owners since the Lutz have experienced no problems, and the movers who moved the Lutz possessions out did not experience anything either. Personally, I see this as mostly fiction. Hoax! Red Star, bullshit!

Deranged: Confessions of a Necrophile- So most definitely a movie not many have heard of, and I doubt you've seen. However, this movie is believed by many Serial Killer buffs to be the best and most honest depiction of Ed Gein after his mother's death. Not a real life story, but supposedly a great movie that perhaps will let you see things the way Ed Gein may have. Gold star, real life horror, go check it out!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre- Takes a silver star. Ed Gein apparently was quite a man, inspiring all sorts of movies with his killings. Here is another. Leatherface is NOT a real person. Never has been, probably never will be, just get over it. Apparently, the writer of the book once visited Ed Gein's house, and became en charmed with the story. From there he created a character whom we all know and love, Leatherface. Is it a true story, no. Is it based loosely upon a real person, yes. Is it a good movie, hell, I like blood!

(stay tuned for part two of my "true story horror" review)

Friday, May 30, 2008

I Want To Thank You

Most of you know me to be very independant, strong willed, stubborn, and determined. However, I haven't always been that way. I haven't always been able to speak out the way I do know and express myself so easily. Last night I had a very deep and emotional moment. I was looking back at the men who have played important roles in my life. Men who have changed me, both for the good and for the bad. I was thinking about where I might be had I stayed with them, and how lucky I am to have moved on. In a few short months I get MARRIED, and if it wasn't for them molding me into the person I am now, I probably wouldn't be getting married to David. So, the following is to all the men I have ever loved and left.

To The Men Once In My Life-

In a few short months I will getting married. This has caused me to look back on my life, and look back upon you. Depite everything, you have held onto a small part of my heart for far to long. The fact that I can still picture your face frightens me. Sometimes I drive past where I knew you lived, wondering if I will ever find you there again, and if I did what you would say to me. I cannot lie, a small part of me still loves you, and always has. However, that is going to come to an end very very soon. I am putting this out because I want to thank you. Well, maybe not you exactly, but the things you taught me in an indirect sort of manner.

I want to thank you for teaching me to respect myself, and to demand respect from others. A man who doesn't respect me (as many of you didn't) doesn't deserve me. I am worthy and deserving of respect, and I shouldn't take disrespect from anyone, let alone someone who claims to LOVE me. A person who loves and respects me, won't try to hide me from the world, make me cover myself up, deny me my passions in life. I want to thank you for belittling me, denying me, disrespecting me, abusing me, yelling at me, cornering me, hating my friends, hating my music, and lying to me. Yes, you did all those things. Even if you don't want to admit it, you did. Well maybe not all of you, but one of you, maybe two of you. Don't lie to yourself, you know you did it. I'm not mad, I want to thank you. I am a better person because of you and what you did.

I want to thank you for teaching me not to take any shit. Once a liar, always a liar, pure and simple. I should have left you a hell of a lot sooner, I really should have. When I first figured out you were cheating, I should have left then. However, I thought you would change. I have learned from you, that once they get away with cheating, they will just keep cheating. People don't change, so don't take any shit. You wrong me once, cheat on me, lie to me, STEAL FROM ME, and that's it. No more, I'm done, you're gone, pack your shit and go! I know, you think in the back fo your head, you never meant to hurt me, but yes you did. Perhaps, you still claim to this day you never did a single thing wrong. Don't lie to yourself, you know you did. I'm not mad, I want to thank you. I am a better person because of you and what you did.

I want to thank you for teaching me all the ways love doesn't feel, so when I finally felt it, I knew it was real. Love doesn't sting, it doesn't burn, and it isn't a nervous feeling in my heart and at the back of my brain. It isn't being pushed, smacked, jerked around, left to walk home, broken, torn, lied to, lied about, or any of things that were done to me. It is being held, kissed, snuggled, shown off, and honesty. It is everything you never were, and I always wished you could be.

There is only one of you I regret what happened, and he is the only one I still talk to. To him, I am sorry. To him I say farewell. You stole a big part of me, and even if you don't realize, you have that part locked away. When I think of you with her, it still kinda stings, and I have to bite my tongue. I am sorry for what I did, leaving you the way I did, but the long distance was tough, and I was so confused. Thoughts of you still plague me at times, but I push them to the far recesses of my mind. You were the first man to truly love me for me. You accepted me and all of my faults. You loved me unconditionally, and I took that for granted. I pushed aside the love you had for me, for something more tangible, and that I regret. However, from you I learned a very important lesson, don't let true love run away, and sure as hell don't push it away. I have found true love once again, and I am going to hold onto it for dear life, because it is more precious then any jewel, any amount of money, or anything tangible. I thank you the most, which is why this hurts. Good-bye Jose, good-bye! We cannot be friends anymore, we cannot talk anymore, we cannot associate anymore. I want you gone, far, out of my life. I cannot have you be a thought anymore, so long as you hold that place in my heart, David will never be able to have the whole thing.

So, to you all, I say farewell. This is your eviction notice. On August 9, 2008 you will forever be evicted from my life. I hope you are a better person without me. I hope that you all are leading the lives you deserve. I pray you learned from our relationship, I know I did. I am better without you, I am better with David.


Thursday, May 29, 2008

The World Of Modifications

As I am planning to finish my tattoo tommorrow of "Doornail Dorothy" it has gotten me thinking about the world of body modifications. The above is a picture of the seemingly newest fad, EYEBALL JEWELRY. After stumbling upon this, I did some research to find out how this is done, and why the hell would someone stick something on their eye. God, it hurts just having an eyelash in my eye, imagine something permanent. *Shivers* Ewwwww....

So, thanks to the wonderful Wikipedia, this is what I came up with (see the full article here: Eyeball Jewelry):
"An extraocular implant (also known as eyeball jewelry) is a cosmetic implant involving a tiny piece of decorative jewelry which is implanted within the superficial, interpalpebral conjunctiva of the human eye."

So, what does that mean. Well, that means they impant this in the membrane that covers the white part of your eye. Which then makes me wonder, what keeps this thing from floating around? What keeps it from drifting around your eye. More ewwww... But is it legal here in the states? Wow, Wiki even answers that...

"Its legality outside of the Netherlands is currently untested. However, several jurisdictions in the US have already supported bills to ban the procedure even though it hasn’t become available in the US yet. On March 6, 2005 an Illinois state committee approved a bill banning the procedure. Infraction could result in a penalty of up to three years in prison."

Three years in prison for performing this? Wow.. pretty tough. But then again, you could make someone go blind (tee-hee, so many possible jokes here, but I will try to remain serious!). I continued to read the article, despite my gut telling me not too. The next title was, "Procedure." They're seriously going to tell how it's done. >.< "The procedure is relatively quick, but it does require that both eyes be immobilized with anesthetic drops, and that the layers of the eyeball where the implant is situated must be separated by the injection of liquid. As very few people have undergone this procedure, and it is relatively new, the long term health effects are currently unknown.
However, the Website of the
Netherlands Institute for Innovative Ocular Surgery states that the implant does not interfere with the ocular functions, i.e. the visual performance and motility. As well, patient satisfaction remains high and no side effects of the treatment have been noticed with a follow-up of more than one year."

OK, so the "website" from the Netherlands says there have been no side affects. But since when do we believe anything we read on the Internet. If I believed everything I read, and everything I read was true, then I would have lost weight just by sitting on the couch, and my boobs would be the size of watermelons. All people would have chiseled abs, and we'd all be millionaires. I think for now, I like my eyes the way they are, ugly brown! I love body mods, but I think that is taking it a bit far.
Anyway, if anyone reading this has one, please let me know. I would love to know what it feels like, and if you've had any problems. My curiosity is going to be the death of me.

Sooooo... now that I am done with that, on to my next point. Crappy tattoos, and good tattoos. Since I am planning to dedicate an entire leg to psychopatic work, I went out looking at tattoo stuff. I stumbled upon a hilarious site, Bad Tattoos. This site has pictures of some of the WORSE tattoos I have ever seen (they even make Anthony's bullet that looks like a dildo look good). Anyway, here are some of the pictures I picked as the best of the worse. Check them out:
So apparently this is suppose to be a Unicorn. Where'd it go? Is this a rorschach test? If so, I see two bunnies. Yep, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Playboy bunny in a field of.... zits... herpes... EWWWW... Nasty bunny.

Marvin the Martian is pretty cool, but it looks like a 3 year old has colored him in with crayons.

Dolphin? Whales? Big whale? WTF?

Ariel on crack?
What a way to remember the 80's with some random big hearded bimbo tattooed poorly on you. WTG!!

Anyway, so that was my moment of zen, looking at all those crappy tattoos. But I did find some cool ones that I will use as creative fodder for my next series of tattoos. Anywa, here are some ideas I have been brewing (with the help of the amazing Jamie and her BRILLIANT ideas) for my next couple of pieces for my psychopathic leg.

1. Santa Claus is a Fat Bitch- imagine badder santa, but a big fat drunken santa, sitting on the shitter, pants around his ankles, porno mag next to the shitter, and a 40 in a red bag with the hatchetman on it.
2. Fat Sweaty Betty- total fat ugly BITCH. Hairy legs, fuckin empty box of pizza at her feet, with the hatchetman on the top of the box. Just sheer gluttony at it's finest.
3. Toxic Love (Roxy Carol)- Have this straight up skank, herpes infested hooker, with the toxic waste plant behind her, staring into a mirror that reflects a straight pin-up model in a field of flowers and happy bright shit.
4. Also thought about some portraits down my shin
5. Something with the joker's cards (any suggestions?)

Anyway, that completes this thought for the day. Enjoy!